NIGEL'S MORNING
Nigel Watson made a desperate dash for the bus only to watch in frustration as it pulled away from the stop.
"Fuck it!"
His swearing made a gaggle of passing schoolgirls giggle mischievously amongst themselves.
He blushed furiously, embarrassed at the fun they were poking at him and irritated by his own self-consciousness.
Sitting down disconsolately upon a nearby wall, Nigel lit up a cigarette and seethed quietly.
It was so annoying - only his second day at a new job and already he was late. He kept his eyes fixed upon the distant corner from which emanated a constant stream of rush-hour traffic and prayed for another bus.
He didn't take too much notice of a particular white van that rounded the corner towing a low trailer behind itself.
Atop said trailer stood a large rectangular bill-board but it was only when the vehicle was about to pass him that Nigel realised with a snap just what was written on that board.
In six foot high, red letters it proclaimed:
"NIGEL WATSON IS A WANKER"
This statement was followed by a crude drawing of a cock and balls.
Suddenly a P.A. system crackled into life and a gruff, distorted voice began chanting:
"WHO'S THE WANKER, WHO'S THE WANKER, WHO'S THE WANKER OVER THERE...?!"
The schoolgirls cheered.
Nigel Watson felt sick.
It was going to be one of those days.......
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