Somebody peed me off today..... I was probably (in fact I definitely was) being over sensitive (as per usual), but instead of saying something to them, I became sulky. I don't even think this person had any idea that they'd upset me, but sulk away I did, like the spoilt little brat I am.
I dislike the part of my personality that makes me act like this. I wish I could just come out and say "oh you've pissed me off actually", but for whatever psychological reason, I can't. It's at moments like these that I realise just how immature and emotionally stunted I am......
Unfortunately, I think there's a part of me that actually gets off on having these kind of feelings. I fear that I'm looking for any excuse to be hateful. It appears that the body can become addicted to the chemicals produced during these negative episodes, and sure enough, it does make me feel weirdly high.
Looking back now, I feel fairly ashamed and embarrassed by my behaviour, particularly as I genuinely like this person; hopefully they didn't really notice, or if they did, let's hope it did nothing more than amuse them.....
Sorry about the self regarding, self indulgent nature of this post, but I just needed a bit of catharsis.....
Thanks for reading and remember:
I LOVE YOU ALL!!
XXXXXXXXXXXX
I watched that film The Damned United earlier today about Brian Clough.
ReplyDeleteNow, I know you don't care about football. But a central part of the film is that when Clough is managing a minor team with no reputation the biggest team in the country comes to play at their pitch.
The big wig guy doesn't shake Clough's hand. Blanks him. And this brings about a lifelong rivalry that sees Clough become the best manager in the nation, pretty much all because he hates this one other manager.
So, er, use your pissed-offedness to become Emperor of England or something. They will all be sorry when you are the ruler.
~ Bodnotbod
Yes, and then Michael Sheen could play me in the bio-pic of my life, although I fear it would be quite a dull film....
ReplyDeleteI really like The Damned United; I have it on DVD.....
Cheers Graeme x